MY APOLOGY

By the Grace of God, I've been privileged to be in a leadership position in the Church. Men who were better than me have realized the call of God on my life and given me opportunities to preach to the people. It seems to me that while it is true that I was called at the time, I had not been sent. I wasn't ready to lead, I wasn't prepared by God enough. I knew very little about God and most of what I knew were lies and half truths.

God is love and I don’t believe any minister is ready until he gets that into his head; that all that God does is motivated by his being Love. Of course, we grow into this, but it must have settled well enough before we presume to lead our brothers and sisters. I remember many sermons I preached and many times I got an opportunity to speak and it was horrible. I was always pointing out how unsatisfied God was with people. I disqualified them from God’s blessings. I berated people for not praying loudly enough; praising vigorously enough or giving largely enough.

Even when the grace of God began to unfold to me, I became a Grace Pharisee. I lost my patience with anyone who refused to see things my way and got into many arguments and fights with my brothers. I look back at some of my encounters with certain people and realize how those meetings could have ended in a more peaceful and friendly way.

I was an angry preacher because I believed that God was angry with me. I have since repented from that error. I no longer feel condemned for my wrong doings, not even for the ones I just pointed out. However, I do want to apologise. To all that have felt condemnation, unworthiness, or disqualification by my words or actions, I sincerely apologise. I knew not what I was doing. And I want you to know that God loves you with an unquenchable love. He does not need you to move an inch, give a cent, or pray a decibel louder before he blesses you. In fact, he has blessed you in the Lord Jesus and he doesn’t take back what he gives.

May the Grace of our Lord continually be with you.