By
the Grace of God, I’ve been privileged to be in a leadership position in the
Church. Men who were better than me realized the call of God on my life
and gave me opportunities to preach to the people. It seems to me that while
it is true that I was called at the time, I had not been sent. I wasn’t ready
to lead, I wasn’t prepared by God enough. I knew very little about God and most
of what I knew were lies and half truths.
God
is love and I don’t believe any minister is ready until he gets that into his
head; that all that God does is motivated by his being Love. Of course, we grow
into this, but it must have settled well enough before we presume to lead our
brothers and sisters. I remember many sermons I preached and many times I got
an opportunity to speak and it was horrible. I was always pointing out how
unsatisfied God was with people. Which is really how unsatisfied I was with
them. I disqualified them from God’s blessings. I berated people for not
praying loudly enough, praising vigorously enough, or giving largely enough. Ultimately, this was all a reflection of how i felt God was unsatisfied with me.
Even
when the grace of God began to unfold to me, I became a Grace Pharisee. I lost
my patience with anyone who refused to see things my way and got into many
arguments and fights with my brothers. I look back at some of my encounters
with certain people and realize how those meetings could have ended in a more
peaceful and friendly way.
I was an angry preacher because I believed that God was
angry with me. I have since repented from that error. I no longer feel
condemned for my wrong doings, not even for the ones I just pointed out.
However, I do want to apologise. To all that have felt condemnation,
unworthiness, or disqualification by my words or actions, I sincerely apologise. I
knew not what I was doing. And I want you to know that God loves you with an
unquenchable love. He does not need you to move an inch, give a cent, or pray a
decibel louder before he blesses you. In fact, he has blessed you in the Lord
Jesus and he doesn’t take back what he gives.
May the Grace of our Lord continually be with you.
No comments:
Post a Comment